On the 8th of July, 2019 William “Terry” Groce lost his wife, Barbara “Tutie” Groce, of 47 years to liver cancer. Today, he struggles to adjust to living in solidarity as he tries to do everything she used to in order to maintain a level of normalcy. While coping with the loss of his wife is pervasive in Terry’s everyday life, he is able to find joy and hope through his faith, family, and friends.

Terry attends services at his church every Wednesday and Sunday where he catches up with others in the congregation, attends bible study, and even preaches every few weeks. The congregation provides him with a sense of community through faith. After services, Terry and friends from the congregation often take part in one of his favorite things to do: go out to eat.

While he knows people are sympathetic to his loss, Terry said they don’t always understand that most days all he can see is the void she left: from the empty seat beside him, to the holiday decorations she used to put out, to the songs she used to listen and sing along to in the car. “Tutie did more than I thought, or more than I realized she did,” he said, reflecting on all the birthday presents, finances, and household responsibilities he is trying to balance.

Terry and his daughter Heather Leslie reflect as they admire the wood figures of family trees painted in a style resembling the figures Tutie painted herself. Her wood paintings are still displayed all around the house. Terry said she dreamed of one day having enough inventory of her painted figures, cookie jar lids, and plaques to get a booth at the Southern Christmas Show in Charlotte, which features all kinds of crafts.

Terry and his family join hands to pray before their Thanksgiving lunch. It was the first major holiday without his wife, who usually did all of the cooking and organizing. All three of Terry’s daughters and their families cooked turkey, casseroles, and his favorite jello fruit salad at his home. Her seat was left open at the table.

Despite the overall somber mood of Thanksgiving, Terry loves to entertain his family and especially his grandkids. His dancing turkey routine was a real crowd pleaser this year.

When Terry noticed his grandchildren, Heath (left) and Addison (middle), trying to make a leaf pile, he got out his leaf blower to help them out. The kids ran screaming in joy as he blew leaves at them, slowly making a huge pile for them to jump in. “I’m just glad I’ve got grandchildren who like me and really want to be around me,” he said. “I wanna take advantage of that every chance I get.”

Heath drives Terry’s tractor as they move bales of hay from the front yard’s thanksgiving decorations to get ready for Christmas decoration. Terry loves to show off his John Deere tractor and uses it any chance he gets. He said the many different yard projects he’s working on right now keep him busy.

“I’ve got 14 projects going on,” Terry said. “I need to just pick one, do one, pick one, do one.” As long as it isn’t raining, he can usually be found on his tractor, moving dirt and wood around the backyard, cutting his and neighbors’ lawns, and coming up with new projects to stay busy. He said he is working on putting in a path from the deck to the fire pit because it was something Tutie wanted.

Friends and family play a huge role in the community that has risen up around Terry to help him cope with his loss but still, adjusting to his sudden solidarity is difficult. “I mean she’d work all day but then she’d come home and we’d talk,” he said. “Now there’s no one to talk to.”